The Power of Thought

I've been having an issue for quite a while now, over a year in fact.  I won't go into the details because really for the purpose of this post it's not important. But you do need a little background information.

First of all you should know this issue is an emotional one and lest you get any creative ideas about things going on with me, I'll just go as far as to say it is an issue of faith.

Second you should know, I tend to be an emotional person, rational but emotional which pretty much means I feels things deeply, but I can recognize when those feelings aren't good or productive and am very good at burying them on the inside in order to appear on the outside as if nothing is wrong. You might not think that is a very healthy way to live, but I'm sure we've all known emotional irrational people who wear their emotions on their sleeve, their hat and any other place they can find as long as the world knows they are having an issue and can be there to participate in the drama!  I do not like drama.  I do not like to create drama and I do not want to be a part of it.  Now don't get me wrong... I'm not saying we shouldn't ask for help or share our feelings, our struggles and our challenges or stand up for ourselves.  I share.  I stand up for myself.  I share with my husband, my parents, my friends and they help me and counsel me and support me.  My husband has been a support to me this past year in dealing with my issue.  My parents have offered me great counsel and the other day my friend came over and cried with and for me and helped me change my heart.  I share appropriately.  And I stand up for myself when I need to.  But in all the sharing that has been going on in the past year I haven't really ever found an answer to this problem. And that's the third thing you should know.  I knew it wasn't good what I was feeling.  My faith had always been such a big part of who I was...something I didn't think I would ever question and I think because of that I was shocked by it and really had no idea how to deal with it.  It just kept spiraling downward and questions started getting harder and harder to answer.

Now for the point of why I'm telling you all of this.  Today while I was driving, I started thinking and the usual negative thoughts about my struggle started going through my mind.  And then it dawned on me how many times I allow negative thoughts to not only pop into my head, but fester there. Rationally, I knew that couldn't be good.  I decided I would, at that moment, actively change the thoughts I was having into positive ones.  I noticed the effect immediately.  A strength came to me that I hadn't felt in a long time.  I felt a burden lift and a sense of empowerment!  Could it really be so easy?  Could changing a single thought process make such a difference?  I really believe it can.

I remember vividly one night years ago when I was going through a period of severe panic attacks.  Every night I went to bed absolutely sure I was going to die that night.  I would even wear pajamas that would be appropriate for having to call 911 (obviously my rationality doesn't apply to this time in my life!).  But I really lived in terror as if that was a reality.  But one night when the usual thought coupled with panic crossed my mind that tonight would be the night I would die, I stopped immediately and said to myself..."What if it isn't?  What if I am going to be ok tonight?"  I felt an actual physical response to that.  The anxiety was weakened instead of exacerbated like it was with my usual thought process.  I felt a sense of calm and again a sense of empowerment.  That moment became a turning point in my struggle with panic and I believe that today my moment in the car might be one for me with this struggle.

I read an article this summer about Hilary Weeks, an LDS singer, and how she clicked her way past negative thoughts in her life.  You can listen to her tell her experience here, but basically she bought a clicker to count how many times a negative, judgmental, or uninspiring thought came to her mind each day.  She was astounded. In one day she had clicked 145 times and after a while it made her depressed.  She realized that by giving power to negativity it altered who she was and her emotional state.  She immediately changed her strategy and started using the clicker to make sure she was thinking good positive thoughts all day long. To her, the power of positive thought strengthened every aspect of her life.  She was able to push herself harder than ever before, she felt happier than she had in a long time, and she felt like she could accomplish anything.

I'm kind of having a little bit of the same experience.  I'm not going to get a clicker, but I do feel like a concentrated effort to change my habit of negative thoughts into positive ones can help me overcome this struggle.  I feel for the first time like there is an answer, one that makes sense to me.  One that brings with it the strength I need to face what I need to face and change what I need to change.

I think this solution is universally applicable to any issue.  I think the power of thought really is enabling, the power of positive thought that is. I'm going to try it.  Will I be able to move mountains? Run faster than I've ever run before? Of course I will!  (See it's working already)!